Ann Romney’s Big Love on the Big RNC Stage

Ann Romney’s appearance at the Republican National Convention last night was a calculated but warm message from a woman who loves a man most of the country doesn’t like very much. Mitt’s better half cut a fetching figure on stage, drinking in the applause from the enthusiastic crowd waiting to hear from her.

Her speech, designed to soften the image of her husband and to reveal something about herself as well, was encapsulated in one sentence: “Tonight, I want to talk to you about Love.” Forgive me, but all I could think about after sentence that was a show depicting a fictitious Mormon family entering politics, Big Love.

Some may think it unfair of me to link the show about polygamy to Ann and Mitt Romney, but that’s not my purpose for the comparison. Big Love, in my opinion was never really about polygamy, but relationships between women. Ann Romney reminds me of Barb, the questioning first wife of Bill on Big Love who ends up being a stronger leader than her husband was. Barb had to find her way amidst her husband’s ever-growing “empire” and the realization that he could not handle everything on his own. Ann, like Barb, has a successful husband, but she has the hardest job of all: convincing us to like and accept Mitt no matter what.

What I find intriguing about Ann Romney is that she most likely is, in the words of another speaker, Gov Chris Christie, “driving the car while dad sat in the passenger seat.” Ann Romney’s speech last night was all about women. To quote her, “It’s the moms who always have to work a little harder, to make everything right.” She gets it. She’s going to drive the car and help Mitt win this election, and if that means she has to dig deep, she will.

No one should think that just because Ann Romney was an stay-at-home mom that she can’t run the show. I write about conservative women who live with restrictive gender norms, because the power they wield in their worlds is tremendous. That doesn’t mean that their positions are without struggles. Like it or not, Ann Romney is probably the answer to the recent Salt Lake City Tribune question, “Who is the most visible Mormon woman?”

So while Ann Romney framed her comments in a way last night that marriage seemed tough in the beginning, but with a lot of love, I chuckled. She probably had the help of many younger and older LDS women who talked about childrearing, baking, and keeping a household. The LDS Relief Society is a powerful place for women to learn leadership roles in the Church, even if it is only on a local level. Unlike many denominations that have gutted their women’s work, the LDS Relief society is a place where women have their own space in a male-dominated religion. That doesn’t mean that everything is a bed of roses for LDS women—as RD’s Joanna Brooks writes, even talking about women’s ordination in the LDS church is a problem, though some want a greater visibility for women in the Church. These are important issues, and now may be the time for LDS women to push forward, while Ann Romney has a prominent role in helping her husband campaign for president of the United States.

I have to wonder if Ann Romney will have to shift with her church the same way Michelle Obama had to shift in the last part of the last election in order to help her husband’s campaign. On the campaign trail, Ann Romney has been forceful, direct, even angry at times. I hope she has some Big Sister Love for her fellow LDS sisters, and uses that energy to lend her voice to the struggle for greater visibility within the Church. Her presence on the national stage could help them as well as her husband, but only time will tell. For now, she has a lot more work, and sighing, to do before November.