This is the first of November. Before this month is over, I will make a major status change. In many cultures around the world Muslims identify the ones who have performed the hajj with a title, used before the name, just like we use Mr. or Ms. in English—Hajjah Naimah or Hajji Umar, for example. It can also be used alone, the way we say sir or ma’am. Occasionally it is used for an older person to show respect even if the person has not actually made the pilgrimage.
But mostly, it is about a status.
I think about this now, since I have actually waited almost 30 years since I tried to go the first time. If I had gone then, I would surely be less anxious to do it again at this age. But then, I may not have considered it as significant. Waiting so long really makes it seem so phenomenal.
Here are a few things I would think about if I could do it over:
The Buddy System
I was supposed to go with a friend, who it turned out could not come once we got to the planning stage. But she wasn’t the only person I wish I could go with. I wish I could afford to have one of my sons with me. That would take care of the technicality of the mahram, since they are both adults now, but also, they would give me the intimate company of someone male.
It would be nice to have one of my daughters, but then they would not bring something I could not get from myself, as females. The sheer numbers of people leaves me wanting a male so I could form a block against too much jostling.
What else I would want in a companion would have to be a perspective on Islam that I share. Something Sufi, activist, intellectual, and a bit funky. I don’t really share all of those qualities with most people I know, even my children. I hope blogging will help fill this void—a surrogate companion, sorta. I already know what it is like to be alone in a crowd. The crowds at hajj will be many times larger, and I will even be sleeping with three strangers. Sure, new relations can come out of this, but then it might also be a bit like taking a fitness class, or going skydiving. These may be relationships of convenience and only for the moments. I’m sure what we will be experiencing will be phenomenal enough to share.
Choosing a Tour Company
I’ve already said this, but I repeat: there has to be a better way to choose. Later I will comment on how the logistics on the ground are managed as a way to suggest how someone coming after me might narrow this choice. I would prefer a lot more interactive communication as the preparations go along. I also hear from friends that they’ve had better communications before departure; so the right company goes a long way for the ‘before’ part. I’ll ket you know about during and after.
White
I just folded all my clothes for the hajj. Most of them are new, a few gifts came of late, so I have pants and long tops, dresses, and scarves. I feel like I need one more scarf. Not for sheer number, but for style; there are so many styles, and one has to decide what works best individually. I have my long prayer scarves that do not need any pins to be neatly kept in place. But they are really long, and I wish I had at least one as neat, but shorter. I want to be hands-free and secure at the same time. I have long rectangular shapes that get draped, and I will use them when I am not also walking great distances or throwing rocks! Too late now—even if I asked my friends where they make these scarves, none could get to me on time.
I was tempted to wash everything this morning, just so I would know how they fare through the regular wash cycle, because with three weeks away, I will need to do laundry. But then, maybe I’ll only be able to use the hotel service, which accounts for an expense locally one needs to know about before going. In Indonesia this would be cheap so not a big deal, but who knows in Makkah and Madinah; and what about cleaning my underwear?
But some of these are made from such lovely cotton, the pre-wash would just be more work for me, and not at all necessary.
Then I wondered what the heck I would do with all this white when I return. Only the pant outfits will be possibly integrated into everyday wear; and honestly speaking the dresses are just sack style, and I honestly do not imagine when or where to use them. Maybe I’ll have a lifestyle change and dress in white more often?
Exercise and Diet
Well, I’ve hit the awful plateau, 15 pounds down but gone in the first three weeks. I wish I had managed more than the once a day daily walk, too. This is not just vanity, nor even that pre-diabetes diagnosis, but I really want to be fit for all the activity. I hope I can avoid the prediction that everyone gets sick, even if just a cold. The only thing I want taxed is my soul, not my aging body. But there you have it.
Lastly, I am adjusting my expectations down. I’ve built myself up so much, I’m not safe to avoid disappointment. I’ve also stopped reading and looking at photos over the Internet. They got to be too overwhelming, and I think it better to leave some things for the moment.
