Of the 118 cardinals eligible to vote for the new pope, one has dropped out due to the ever-metasticizing sexual abuse scandal, another sparks indignation (and a 10K signature petition) at the fact that he still has a vote, and a third can’t make it due to poor eyesight; something like 31 are over 80 and ineligible to vote.
So in addition to considering the inclusion of women, LGBTQ and married priests… maybe it’s time to consider recent college grads with liberal arts degrees directly for the job as pope.
Should that happen, John Ortved’s cover letter is already written. A welcome puff of humor from McSweeney’s, Ortved’s letter begins with a gaffe that betrays his gender-inclusive liberal arts education: “Dear sir or madam, I am writing to apply for the position of Pope,” and dutifully includes relevant experience:
As your website notes, the role of Pope includes “Guiding the College of Cardinals, and the masses.” Through my participation in the Freshman Buddy Program, I have helped many younger students through difficult situations, including homesickness and mono. I feel like it is important to give back, a value I believe any organization would appreciate in their Pope.
Of course, even if the Church took the safe road and just considered liberal arts grads casting about for meaningful employment (and women, glbt, and married candidates) for the priesthood, it’d still take a while to replenish the ranks of cardinals. But maybe by the next conclave…
