One thing I hear a lot from my progressive secular/atheist friends is: “We don’t know how to tell the ‘good guys’ from the ‘bad guys’! And besides, who are we to judge religious disputes? We don’t have a horse in those battles.”
I’m sympathetic to the last couple of points. Theology has been making people cross-eyed ever since Christians started parsing homoiousios and homoousios. I can’t and don’t expect anyone to be able to follow all the many denominational and creedal wrinkles that have come about.
At the same time, Baptists are not Methodists* are not Lutherans, are not the UCC. And conservative members of the LDS are not the same as liberals members of the Unitarian-Universalist Association. We’re not all interchangeable, and we’re not all determined to drag the United States back to the Dark Ages, thank you very much.
So how do you tell your friends from the apes?
It’s quite simple, actually. I’ve laid out the differences here, but it’s not strictly necessary to wade through that whole thing. Just ask yourself two questions:
1. Does the God of Glenn Beck (or whoever) guarantee the traditional social order, or is this God work free to work outside the lines of the supposedly immutable Way Things Have Always Been?
2. Does this God hear the cries of the poor, or is he a patron of the elite?
Answer those two questions, and you’ll know if you’re dealing with a conservative believer or a liberal one. Split decisions go to the conservatives.
*Old joke: Q.: What’s the difference between Baptists and Methodists? A: Methodists say hello to one another in the liquor store.
Update: Speaking of old jokes, the folks in the comments grumbling about this post’s title should follow this link. Also. Too.
