Even though the Values Voters Summit was taking place in my hometown of Washington, D.C., I felt a bit like I was traveling to another, more conservative place, and perhaps to another, less progressive time. I often follow the work of anti-choice, “pro-family” and other such organizations of the religious right to see how the issues regarding sexual and reproductive health and rights are being framed and what kind resistance is being mobilized against them. Often these issues have strong back from the religious Right, that special blend of conservatism which bases its claim to absolute moral authority on Christian doctrine.
I had been looking forward to this particular conservative rally for weeks and wondering what the key points of the Summit, so close to the election, would be. At the start of the first day I felt perfectly shielded from it all—just another objective observer, smiling politely at those I passed, trying not to stand out, listening and taking notes. I was there to see and hear first-hand about the concerns of the “values voter,” the leadership framing these messages and whether these messages differed at all for this “friendly” audience than from the message circulated in a more general, public discourse.
The speakers in the plenary sessions ranged from the budding conservative youth leader, Lila Rose, President of LiveAction whose mission is to defund Planned Parenthood, to Gary Bauer, President of American Values, who disparages the notion of global citizenship in favor of a hypernationalistic “ordered liberty under God.” Connie Mackey, Senior Vice President of FRC Action applauded the brave “women fighting for us in places of power” like Representatives Michelle Bachman and Cathy McMorris Rodgers who have been champions of conservative issues, while denigrating Senators Pelosi, Clinton and Boxer, claiming that they are not like the “American women that we know.”
Enjoying my visit, I even had my picture taken with Phyllis Schlafly—an icon of American conservatism—and the original “pro-family” advocate! I am normally unfazed by “celebrity” but to be so close to the tour de force whose mission has been to impede my legal recognition as a citizen of equal standing among men in the United States, was just too good to pass up. I almost wanted to thank her for her passion—for it too invigorated me to fight the good fight!
I toured around the exhibition hall picked up a calendar put out by the Young America’s Foundation with all twelve months featuring their hero: Ronald Reagan. I scanned FRC Action’s voter guides and vote scorecard. In the toolkit “Proposition 8: the Case for Traditional Marriage” from the American Family Association, I found all the information I needed to stop the tyranny of activist judges in California. From Parents and Friends of Ex-Gays and Gays I got a nice little dose of misinformation about sexual orientation and the “health risks associated with homosexuality” along with a very affirmative button reading “Ex Gay Is Ok.” In this nondescript exhibition hall is perhaps where this erosion of objectivity began to crystalize for me. As I walked through the last row I was caught off guard—why are they selling waffles—in the exhibition hall?? And why do they have…Oh dear God! I am clearly not in Kansas anymore but in some alternate universe where racialized—no, let me call it what it is—racist parodies pass as political commentary.
Now, there are certainly trigger points that have been set off along the way, and this was the loudest so far on that first day. The Summit organizers closed down the booth, although reportedly not until the end of the day, claiming ignorance of the potentially offensive content of the box of “Obama Waffles,” replete with racist imagery and commentary. I went to the website for the product later on and found this: “Warning! This site contains humor, parody, political satire, and a few other forms of speech enjoyed by Americans thanks to the First Amendment. If you’re cool with that…. ENTER HERE” leading to their main site. Followed by “If political satire and humor are not your thing or if you just need more fiber in your diet, pick your exit: “EXIT LEFT” “EXIT RIGHT.” Now, should you choose to go left, you would be directed to an official site of the Obama-Biden campaign to donate money and receive an Obama-Biden Car magnet. Should you choose to go right, you would be directed to Ron Paul’s “Campaign for Liberty” site. Finding the “values” in this so-called humor has been completely lost on me.
All of these little episodes were building up to something, to the awareness that I was not just an invisible witness. My being there mattered, somehow, but up to that point it wasn’t yet clear what that was. The extent of this reality didn’t quite sink in until the second day during the breakout session on same-sex marriage, “The Battle for Marriage: the Good, the Bad, the Ugly.”
I was actually looking forward to this, the opportunity to further understand the arguments being made against same-sex marriage, and in some strange way, to foster my own compassion towards those espousing these messages. I firmly believe that the more we dehumanize those whose beliefs don’t match our own, the message of hatred, inequality and discrimination itself has won, and both individuals have lost; lost the opportunity to see ourselves as intricately connected and interdependent; lost the bond of the struggle to understand our own limitations of vision and insight; lost the remembrance that whatever we see in each other simply amplifies and brings out more of ourselves. In short, “the water is wide” and we are all just “swimming to the other side.”
We have a duty, an opportunity to understand each other, to work off of each other as we all move just a bit closer to finding truth. But moving closer to that truth is not without consequence. I was reminded of this fact as I sat there surrounded by people who might not smile so politely if they knew that my partner and I would be marrying in just two weeks at a little church down the street.
And then sometimes I surprise myself. Maggie Gallagher, President for the Institute for Marriage and Public Policy moved to the podium and started her presentation by asking for a show of hands: those who opposed same-sex marriage, those who supported it and those who were undecided. Now I have to say, the practice of voter abstention never crossed my mind at the time. I could opt out, as an observer and not a participant. And yet my mind drifted more towards the thought of a “sin of omission”—would I be betraying my beliefs, or worse yet, lying if I didn’t raise my hand? But before my mind could catch up, my hand was raised. “I believe,” it said. And all eyes were on me.
As much as this session was about legal, state-sanctioned marriage, even more so it was about interrupting the momentum in the public sphere that contradicts a conservative religious stance not just about marriage, but about the entire gendered order of the universe. It was about upholding a belief of complementarity, that God endowed a specific role to man and a specific role to woman. In reality the debate about “protecting traditional marriage” is a diversion from the fundamental issue of human rights—protection and recognition of human dignity, equality and non-discrimination; and marriage is just one manifestation of that respect for human dignity. This session along with the many other triggers along the way reminded me that we can never truly distance ourselves from the effects of injustice, and while we may not always see how the connections link us each back into the picture, we are never just visitors.
